I denied it and held it off for about 3 months but when I got too tired it pushed me under. Can I even utter the words.......here goes...... I am depressed, again. To say that feels awful because it is like I am admitting defeat, like I wasn't strong enough or good enough to be happy. At the same time it is a relief because now I can stop pretending to be happy (not like can even do that anymore) and I will get the help I so desperately need. It has happened at least 6 times before this, but this part never seems to get any easier.
I still have not learned how to ask for help, with grace. I soon as I start I turn into a blubbering fool and feel like they only said yes because they just wanted to make all the fluid coming from my face stop. I'm afraid it will be a bad experience for my children to have a sick mom. It's not their fault that I am so sad, it just happens; obviously no matter how hard I try it still happens.
We will get through this. We have before.
I know this is an old post, but I just found it. Have you found anything that helps you with depression while you're nursing? My sister takes anti-depressant pills and thinks I should try them, too, but I'm not willing to wean my Henrik any time soon.
ReplyDelete@ Jolayne I have taken Welbutrin while nursing 2 of my kids and everything went fine. I think it really depends on you as to what medication might work. I really believe in using all three prongs of therapy to take depression head on. Physical activity, talking and medication. I always use the first two until I recognize that I can't keep it up anymore. I have my own personal signs that I see because I have been through it so many times. Good luck and keep reaching out.
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