We had only one accident today, and Mason pooped 3 times in the toilet. WOW! After all the trouble I've been through I hope this is not just a lucky day. We had even gone out for the afternoon in underwear with no back up plan.
Maybe he knew his mom had finally admitted that her postpartum depression was not a passing bad mood, because those don't last for days on end. I thought I could avoid it this time, but it wasn't so. There are so many taboo things that pass through my mind and sometimes out of my mouth when it hits me. When you feel like you are drowning yelling and screaming seem like the only way people will hear you. I feel terrible that the ones I love the most have to deal with the worst kind of mom and wife when this happens. I wish there were some way I could send everyone away and wallow in it for a few days.
Just keep breathing.
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